The Best Gift of all

I’m probably a renegade of sorts, but I do not seriously buy into the practice of gift giving on a designated day. I believe in spontaneity so I find it hard to imagine that everyone suddenly becomes ‘cheerful’ on the appointed day as they exchange greetings, gifts and goodies.

Take Christmas, for example. I think most adults go with the flow, putting on a facade of cheerfulness in keeping with the ‘spirit of Christmas’.

I find it a little contrived to have a specific day assigned to exchange gifts. While a gift is certainly a token of love or connection, I think true love or true connections can exist quite happily without the need for a gift – unless it follows an inspired thought which can happen on any random day during the year.

Yet society has trained us to believe that we have a certain obligation to fulfil when a certain date rolls by.

Wouldn’t it be so much better to be give in to random acts of kindness any time during the year, whenever one felt inspired to and not simply because it was somehow ‘expected’ of you?

I think society has also taught us to value ourselves through the eyes of others which is why it seems important to tick off the right boxes at the appropriate time.

A forwarded greeting seems to be the norm these days, ensuring that one is at least thought about on special occasions. Sadly this may only be because you exist in someone’s list of contacts and they don’t want to offend you by not sending you their greetings! That, in my opinion, is as meaningless as a smile which does not reach the eyes.

I think the best gift anyone can ever give, is to simply be authentic and totally unfettered from any obligation.

As Dr. Seuss put it ever so succinctly, ‘Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’

While you may never win a popularity contest, you will get full marks for authenticity and the world will be a better place because of that.

© 2018 G.A.I.L

Bringing Things into Focus

I was thinking about focus the other day, and somehow just the word ‘focus’ managed to trigger a memory that made me smile.

Around eight years ago my husband and I had taken the boys for a movie. It was ‘Karate Kid’ and as we left the theatre, the words of Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) were still echoing in my mind. ‘Focus. You need more focus’.

As we walked across the concreted area to the car park I couldn’t resist doing my own playful impersonation of Jackie Chan. With mock seriousness, I pointed my index and middle fingers towards my eyes the way Jackie Chan had done and said to the boys, ‘You need to focus’. At that precise moment my foot caught on the wooden projection of a planter and a second later I found myself in a heap on the ground!

Even though I was caught off guard, my sense of humour kicked in and I began to laugh. My husband and boys were startled, to say the least. One minute I was right beside them and the next minute I was not! They hurried to help me up and I simply couldn’t help chuckling, even as I saw the concern in their eyes. It was the sheer incongruousness of the situation that had me heartily amused. Here I was talking about focus and managed to accomplish the exact opposite!

Eight years later I can view this incident with fresh understanding, based on what I’ve discovered through my life experience since then.

You see, I’m pretty much sold on to the idea that we create our own reality by our outlook, perspectives and everything in between.

All of us have a mix of thoughts because we have many things going on in different areas of our life. It is the net balance of thoughts/feelings that determine our point of attraction and how experiences manage to unfold in our lives in real time. We recognise some of them when they present as ‘coincidences’ and often these delightful events have us quite intrigued.

I have never been quite the focused person I’d like to be. I used to attribute it to the fact that motherhood demanded that I multitask, but I’m not so sure about that. I tend to begin many projects at the same time and they mature into completion slowly and steadily, based on the time I’m able to fuel them with.

This trait does not particularly bother me and I’m still able to function pretty satisfyingly despite it. But as I see it in hindsight, the incident that unfolded was a superb blend of everything I had bubbling vibrationally within me. The juxtaposition of my somewhat unfocused ways against this playful ‘intent to focus’ caused a ripple in my vibration, highlighting the fact that my lack of focus was my stumbling block—quite literally!!

There are some things we’ll never know for sure and my speculations may seem as sketchy as perhaps the interpretation of a dream. But my cheerful curiosity and theories about life in all its facets, is certainly food for thought—even though I’ll admit we all have way different tastes and palates!

© 2018 G.A.I.L

Path of Least Resistance

There are a myriad of different ways to go about doing anything, but we tend to choose the path that feels the most comfortable. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! In the same way that water finds its own level, I guess we all have our own unique styles of figuring out ways to achieve our goals.

In my case, my kids helped me to see that there isn’t just one prescribed way of accomplishing anything. As a new mother I’d happily assumed that I knew better what was good for them, simply because I had more life experience than they did. I also believed I could see further down the track than they were capable of doing. (I dare say most mothers are guilty of exactly the same thing.)

But that was before I even realized what the path of least resistance was all about.

As a lot of parents do by default, I simply assumed that my kids needed to follow my path of least resistance and not their own path! When they were little, I insisted on a bed time of 8 o’clock. This was pretty much non-negotiable because I truly believed that rest was important and I was keen on them developing good habits. My own childhood had been a little chaotic, with no fun bedtime routines and no enforced bedtime either. I would often end up sleeping later than I probably ought to have and seldom woke up fully refreshed. My path of least resistance therefore, was to chalk out a better routine for my children and guide them to follow it.

They however resisted my carefully structured routine to different degrees. My older son insisted he couldn’t get sleep and I was powerless to dispute that. I slowly began to relax into allowing them some degree of autonomy over the years, rather than insist on them doing something I was convinced was ‘good’ for them. I began to sense that any resistance on their part would most certainly negate any good habits I might’ve been forcibly trying to heap on them.

Needless to say, I now see things a lot differently. I believe there is a River of Life that exists for all of us, that we can choose to go with—or not. I now understand that we go with the flow when we’re satisfied— and we move against the current when we’re not.  There will always be people around us on similar journeys (but of course not at exactly the same point) who will give us a friendly tip or two. It is up to each one of us to consider carefully any advice that comes our way and see if it will serve us, either at that moment or sometime in the future.

While children may often seem uninterested in the things that seem important to us, they really are carving out a path for themselves which to them, is easier and far more satisfying. While it may not yield the results their parents were hoping for in the short term, they are indeed having a more scenic and fulfilled ride.  And as they course down their own path of least resistance they often make a definite contribution to the whole, as in with new inventions or a new way of doing things.

Many of the older generation believe that kids spend too much of time on their devices. I don’t disagree at all with that observation. But I would argue that even whilst they do so, they are in fact picking up valuable skills that can enable them to navigate easily and confidently through a rapidly evolving technological world. Isn’t that simply their path of least resistance—as they move from one satisfied moment to the next?

There is a certain degree of incongruence in expecting children to blindly follow their parents’ ways without question. If that were the case, then nothing would’ve moved past the Stone Age where people rubbed rocks together to light a fire!

Many of our beliefs hinder our journey in the same way that rocks or fallen tree stumps force a river to alter its course. Thoughts of unworthiness, guilt or even a perceived misconception that we may not be good enough, can block the flow for a while.

But in my understanding of how the Universe works (with Law of Attraction as the engine that drives it along) there will always be a path of lesser resistance that opens up to create a manifestation. What I mean is that we, (as consciousness personified) actually attract to ourselves, experiences and rendezvous that move us along the River of Life. While illness, accidents and ‘disasters’ of any kind are definitely the most undesirable of all manifestations they also hold the potential for immense spiritual growth.

With the benefit of hindsight I can now see how my journey through illness was the path of least resistance for me. I attracted a medical condition that was not absolutely life threatening, but was serious enough that I had to stop and take stock of my life and everything that was important to me.  I had always had an insatiable thirst to know more about the purpose of life and how everything fits together. But my curiosity always seemed to take a backseat to my role as a mother, which I took very seriously.  And through a somewhat convoluted path, I managed to find answers to many of the questions I had asked. My new found ‘clarity’ may be old news to many people, but it’s huge for me. And now that I get it, it all seems so simple…

I know my viewpoint will seem incredulous if not outrageous to a lot of people and I certainly don’t expect everyone to buy into my philosophy. But l do feel inspired to share my insights because there may be someone on a journey close enough to mine who can hear what I have to say, use it if it resonates, or store it for later.

I’m okay with that … because after all, there isn’t only one prescribed way of doing anything. At the end of the day all of us get to choose which path we take.


© 2018 G.A.I.L

Tuning In To The Right Frequency

I spent a major portion of my life looking for other people’s approval, even though what I was doing felt very satisfying.

I knew I was being sincere and authentic, yet I somehow needed assurance that everyone really saw me that way. I think we all seek approval to some degree or another. Facebook figured this out a long time ago, which is why it introduced the ‘Like’ button!

And then one fine day, it struck me that no one really could ever see me the way I see myself, so it was always going to be a futile exercise waiting for that seemingly easy, yet elusive moment to ever happen. At that moment I made a conscious decision to cut loose from this bondage and float free.

I guess there were a few realisations that had to lock into place in my understanding, which then formed a solid enough platform of ‘knowing ‘for me.

I had just come upon the suggestion that we in our physical experience are like radios, transmitting and receiving, whether we are consciously aware of it or not. This was a fascinating idea for me, because I had never heard anything like this before.  And like a radio receiver, we are capable of receiving different frequencies. This would mean that we have the potential to tune our personal frequency to achieve a different point of attraction.

I was fascinated by the idea of being able to actually create a reality, rather than get something by default!

Well, it turns out that our conscious thinking mind determines the frequency we are set at, at any given moment in time, by the thoughts we think. That made a lot of sense to me, because I then began to notice that things seemed to happen in keeping with the mood or frequency that I happened to be on.

On days that I was grumpy, I noticed I was meeting up with a lot of grumpy people and on the days I was feeling upbeat, a lot of interesting experiences came my way, which pretty much took my breath away.

This observation helped me go one step further.  I realised that making a conscious effort at tuning my own frequency could really influence what would be drawn into my experience. Could it really be that simple?

While the theory of it is sound, it is a little more difficult (but certainly not impossible!) to achieve that practical terms. And that is because of the very nature of Law of Attraction – That which is like unto itself is drawn.

Each progressive thought has to be in vibrational range of the preceding one. Therefore, one still has to go through the metaphoric ‘turning of the dial’ to get to a higher frequency. You can’t just say, ‘I’m happy’ and expect things to shift instantly—the vibrational frequency has to gather enough momentum to be strong enough, to begin the process of attraction.

While a positive outlook is undeniably a good frequency to reach for, I’ve found that most people talk about ‘positive thinking’ without really understanding the actual dynamics. It’s more than just positive sounding words; it’s the actual feeling behind it.

For example saying the words ‘I am happy’ when one is most certainly not happy, serves no purpose, because the frequency really has not changed. And the same principle applies to any subject – the frequency of where you currently are and where you want to be are very different. And bridging that gap through a conscious exercise of thoughts is all the tuning that is needed.

Everyone’s journey is different and therefore there is not ‘one size that fits all’.

In my case, I seem to have an in-built positive attitude that serves me extremely well. My stumbling block was allowing other people’s expectations to get in the way of my own. That almost always would cause me angst and would get me to lower my frequency and leave me rather confused. Fortunately now that I understand the process, I’m far more aligned with what I want rather than what other people want of me!

I’ll admit it – it’s not all that easy to ignore what people think, do or say, especially if you’re a keen observer like I am. But there are simple tools I’ve discovered that make the tuning much easier. I found these simple thoughts that were general enough and reasonable enough to play with when my dial gets stuck:

  • “Everyone thinks differently”
  • “I get to choose my thoughts and they get to choose theirs”
  • “No one needs to be right, but we all need to figure out our way”
  • “My way doesn’t need to be their way”

And within no time at all I can tune myself to who I really am —letting everyone else  be ‘who they be’, while I ‘be who I be’.

And the world is a better place … or at least my world is a better place!

© 2018 G.A.I.L

A Pleasant Surprise


I’m not big on receiving accolades or hearty praise. But I do enjoy the thrill of resonance —that tiny feeling of satisfaction when a teeny spark you hold, kindles something in someone else.

I truly believe that every thought we think, actually counts. And when I blog, it is to share the insights I come upon—certain in my understanding that somewhere, sometime, my thoughts will reach out to someone who happens to be on the same wavelength.
Well, last week I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had received a Blogger Recognition Award. It was a simple confirmation of what I’ve suspected all along—that our thoughts do go much further than we expect. We don’t always have to witness every single effect any of our actions have at every moment. There is always a ripple effect of sorts and we simply cannot help influencing each other in intangible ways.
I’d like to thank Black Girls Who Code who nominated me. Not only did I get the thrill of knowing that my voice was being heard, but I got to catch a glimpse of what she has to say, much of which strikes a chord with my own thoughts and ideals. What I personally find fascinating is that many of us bloggers are sharing our tidbits in ways that seems to resonate so smoothly with one another.
As I muse on this, I am reminded of the words of the famous Indian poet, Rabindranath Tagore:
There are numerous strings in your lute
Let me add my own among them
Then, as you smite your chord
My heart will break its silence
And my life will be one with your song
I think all of us smite our own chords as we think and feel—and blog and share our experiences with each other.
And the music of our ‘oneness’ pours out into the Universe, with Law of Attraction orchestrating the entire show!
Here’s my list of bloggers, who I think have an awesome voice:

© 2018 G.A.I.L

Bending Reality

I’ve been brought up to tell the truth and I dare say I’ve always done a fantastic job. But now that I think of it, the ‘truth’ could always do with a little bit of whitewashing now and then.

People call this a white lie and any self-righteous person will recoil at the very idea of making peace with something so horribly taboo.

I’m beginning to think there are occasions when reality can be bent just a little bit, especially when the situation demands it. It’s easy to overlook the incredible power that a simple stroke of whitewash can give, in mitigating a bad situation and soothing it into a better place. What’s even better is that it accomplishes far more than a bucket load of explanation!

One perfect example of this is when I was a little kid—probably around five years old or so. I can’t remember exactly how, but I’d just come upon the realization that death was inevitable.

I was totally shocked to know that I too was doomed to die some day and I simply could not bear the thought.

I can still recall that feeling of panic rising in me as I confronted my mother about this.

“You mean all of us die?” I asked, quite horrified.

“Yes,” she replied, taking the time to sit me down and explain quite seriously that that was just how it was.

“But I don’t want to die,” I whimpered desperately.

Young as I was, I was fully aware of the concern in my mother’s eyes as she seemed to understand my fear, yet felt justifiably bound by parental responsibility.

“But we all have to die,” she explained patiently, watching with a tinge of sadness as I crumbled before her very eyes.

There and then you see, my world was shattered!

Up till then I’d been pretty sure that my mum could fix any problem—and here she was, admitting that she was powerless to save my life!

Most sensible people will agree that my mum’s response was very reasonable indeed.

I on the other hand, believe that a ‘white lie’ here would’ve been totally justified.

In my opinion it would’ve been that soft cushion of hope that had the power to soothe a childhood fear and pave the way to accepting the inevitable at a more suitable time.

My own response as a mother would’ve been totally different. (In fact I’d been waiting patiently all these years for my own kids to come along and ask me the same question, but unfortunately they never did, lol.)

I’d have said, “Yes I too have heard that we all die, but I’m not sure that has to be the case for everyone.”

I’d wait for that to sink in before I continued quite matter-of-factly, “I’ll just tell God that you don’t want to die …and you won’t have to, alright?”

I’m sure any mother could’ve gotten away with this, because especially at the age of five, mothers mean the world to their kids—mine certainly did! Of course everything changes with the onset of the teen years, when almost anything a parent says seems downright ridiculous—but that’s a different story.

People make too much of a deal about ‘always speaking the truth’.  Because when you think about it, the story of Santa Claus is the jolliest white lie ever told!

© 2018 G.A.I.L

The Cookie Thief

I absolutely love this poem and can’t help sharing it. Not only is it beautifully written, but it makes such an excellent point!

THE COOKIE THIEF     by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night, with several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shops, bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, that the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be. . . grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”

With each cookie she took, he took one too, when only one was left, she wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other, she snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother. This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude, why he didn’t even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled, and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, then she sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, there was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair, the others were his, and he tried to share. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.


I dare say all of us are guilty of going down unnecessary rabbit holes once in a while, based on a perception that may be clouded or incorrect. I think this poem is a perfect reminder of just how human we all are!

© 2018 G.A.I.L